World Exclusive. - Hinchey off limits.

It is with our deepest regret that we have to announce to the female population that Steve Hinchey has found himself a steady Girlfriend. We know that this is a massive blow to all of your ladies that believed that you were the one for Steve and this news must be extremely painful. We offer our condolences to you all and wish you the best of luck in finding yourselves somebody else. We appreciate that you may feel like giving up the idea of being with Men now as "Once you have seen Steve the rest are just not good enough" and if this is the case then we totally understand.

We currently do not have plans to retire the "Steves World" page although we may decide that in order to reduce the pain and suffering to you all, we may have to remove this page from the website.

Once again, we are very sorry to have to break this news to you. Our thoughts are with you all.

UFO spotted in Southwater Club.

There were unconfirmed reports that a UFO was spotted in Southwater Sports club on Saturday 21st Feb at approx 12:15 GMT. The "Unidentified Foreign Object" was spotted in Greg Tydds Right hand and had an Orange appearance. The object manifested itself within a pint glass and some shocked locals also state they saw what looked to be like small lumps of ice within the orange liquid.

There were many shocked by this incident and many people we asked to comment on this incident were simply too stunned to talk. We have contacted Greg's manager a Mr C Arlsberg who refused to comment but we did manage to get a comment from a close friend of Greg who Said "For f*cks Sake... If that f*cking UFO turns out to be a f*cking pint of f*cking Orange and f*cking lemonade I will f*cking eat my f*cking hat.. Hey !!, Hey !!". We cannot name the friend for legal reasons but we believe that friends close to Greg will be able to recognise this style of communication and work out who this person was.

Remember this date well - Saturday 21st February... It will go down in history as the strangest sighting since the Roswell incident.

If you have any information on this shocking story then you can get more information at www.gregsanalchoholic.co.uk